Hey all.
It's 4.10am and I haven't slept. I took a zopiclone and felt the sedation but no sleep came. As most of you know I have been really rubbish just lately, and not coping well at all.
Anyway my kids are sorted for my mum and I will be taking myself to the crisis team tomorrow morning when they have gone to school. I have done something very silly again (many of you will know what that is) and I am a very frightened person right now.
I can't cope with this anymore, it's driving me potty. I feel like a failure and I hate myself right now. I love my sons and my mum more than life itself and I can't deal with hurting them anymore.
Anyway I am writing this just in case they keep me in the hospital, so what would be really nice right now is lots of warm huggles from my friends because I am really scared. Plus if I get taken in I may not be around for a while.
I will check in around 8.30am to see who's about.
What I will say is that I would not have got through these last few weeks without you all....Sue, Weebs, Bluesparkle, Tets, Smilie, Moomin, Georga, Tina, Hayley and of course all the others. Thank you so much for giving me time to waffle on and stuff and help me. Hopefully this will be the last time for me, I need to kick this right up the butt before I end up in hospital every week!
Anyway Hopefully chat in the afternoon, if not soon as possible.
Love you all so much
Kez xxxxxxxxxxxx