I really don't know where to start things just seem to go from bad to worse and any positive soon becomes a negative. Today I had an appraisal at work where they asses your performance. I work in retail and they say my customer service is not good enough so rated me poor. I have to improve that but they did find other positives (don't feel that matters after what they said)..but after a three month probationary they may not keep me on.
I can't help being a bit quiet or unhappy how I look at times. Nobody can reassure me about not losing my job as I have been paid off about three times from retail in the last few years as a manager doesnt like my performance enough. Basically the assistant manager said they don't like me because I don't talk enough to them and because of how I am.
Maybe I need a long hard look in the mirror? maybe it's me? I'm lonely in love can't find a women, I failed my driving test for the 4th time yesterday, could be out of work and back to square one soon as again just like the other 20 times I have been.
I mean atleast I try, I just want to get on in life but I'm always no good. It's times like these I actually say well no wonder I am anxious and feeling how I do because life is constantly hard for me. Course there's no reward for trying as it's not always good enough, or the wrong moment. Just feel I need to talk about it not sure if any words can help me anymore? I feel I need to find some sense of all this myself. Maybe I'll never be a happy outgoing person but when lifes better I am more relaxed and a bit happier thats just me. I'm not all jolly I can be serious.
Just don't know anymore..anybody whos read my previous posts may understand how I have been feeling..because this is just another chapter in what goes wrong next and how I have gave up before I change it or why should I? maybe look for my 50th job at the age of 21?
Just so upset right now. Being told u ain't a nice person well just backs up how I feel maybe I am not a nice person to know hence my situation.