How do you work on the root causes of health anxiety?

[bloxy]

Wow blueangel, that sounds really tough and from such an early age.

I'm also catholic and I think that is where some of my issues with guilt and responsibility come from and the idea that I will be punished in some way for not being a 'good person' or doing the 'right thing'. I have recently gone back to church through my children (baptisms, holy communion) and have discussed my anxiety and issues with the priest and this has helped a lot and obviously the church don't use fear like they used to.

Rambing again lol, just thought it was interesting about the religious aspect.

[onlysmee]

Bloxy, Blueangel, thank you so much for your posts. They struck so many chords, I'm not sure why it helps so much to go - YES! That's exactly it! That's how I feel too! - but it does.

The religious thing is clearly a strong component part; Blueangel, what you went through sounds really grim, but as you say, it makes us what we are - for good and bad. I was brought up to believe if you were too happy you'd be punished for it, let alone if you actually did something wrong - so I spend my life waiting for the Sword of Damacles to fall and working as hard as I can to try to second guess it! At my low points, I revert to the age of about 6 and try to make bargains with God - I now have sworn off alcohol, have to go to church regularly, and various other "good behaviour bonds" which I use to try to influence the outcome. It's not in line with the image of the loving God which the modern church uses, but childhood models die hard...

The points about living with anxiety are well made as well, I want too much to "fix" myself rather than accepting how I am and managing it. Hence my questions about further therapy; I want to be more "fixed" than I already am, whereas actually, I have the tools I need and when I use them, they work. This episode has been a useful wake-up call for me, after the CBT I was convinced I would be fine, and I've slipped back into old bad habits, which have led back into the old bad places. Thank you both for the empathy, and I'm now going to try to spend a happy weekend engaging properly with my family and enjoying everything I have, rather than trying to sneak away to research symptoms and dwell on the bad stuff!

[bloxy]

Good for you onlysmee.

I know exactly what you mean, and I had the same expectations from CBT but once I got the point of it, it all became so much easier.

I hope you have a fabulous weekend with your family and keep in touch