Very difficult conversation - any advice?

[bazbaz71]

You're probably right Flossie. I can't do more than I've done. I'm seeing my girlfriend tonight so I'm going to tell her that I've pushed as hard as I could. I can't push anymore as its upsetting me too much and stressing me out.

My Mum took a couple of incidents from my past last night and used them against me which was particularly upsetting. She assumes that because, like anyone else, I've made the odd mistake before it means I'm incapable of making a good decision. Her bringing up something like that just to further her case just seems particularly nasty and very out of character.

My girlfriend is so lovely that I don't want this to come between us and the only way that can happen is by pushing too hard for my parents to meet her. Further conversation on this is just going to hurt me and my relationship with my parents and my girlfriend. All the same it makes feel very sad....

[flossie]

I appreciate that you are hurt and angry at the moment but don't dwell on it. Let your mum calm down and keep in contact. To be honest this sounds more like your parents problem than yours. It all sounds so familiar to my background.
It certainly wasn't kind of your mum to raise forgotten issues but that is her way of holding control over you and keeping you dependent. In truth it is probably her needing you more. Just stay firm but polite and gentle.
You have learned that you can make choices independently from your parents, they just need to realise it too.