Hi,

wow - it sounds like you're going through a really difficult time at the moment, I'm sorry you feel this way.

I have been suffering from OCD thoughts about cheating - at one point, I was THAT certain I had cheated on my boyfriend and forgot (which is impossible) and even confessed it to him!

I went through a similar thing to you regarding pornography but of the same sex, I honestly thought I WAS gay and that no one would be able to accept that. the thing is, that the thoughts have that much of an impact on you that you know in yourself they're not true! as for the gay porn back when you were younger, dude, you were young! everyone goes through things like that and experiments differently.

I know that this is the last thing you'll wanna hear, but you will only ever know yourself if you ARE truly gay.

bare in mind, thoughts aren't things.