Just got diagnosed...

[chloe1026]

I just got diagnosed with having OCD, specifically Pure O as it is referred to. I have battled with anxiety since I was a little girl. It all started when a pervert attempted to kidnap me and since then its been anxiety and panic. I never noticed I had OCD but now that I am having the chance to reflect I can see it much more clearly. I have those obsessional thoughts, like am I a serial killer or what if I am a pervert? I used to always check under every bed and look in every closet to make sure no one was there although I knew logically that no one could fit under most of the beds in the house. I even used to look in the cupboards and oven, which is nuts I know but even though I knew it was an impossibility, I would still HAVE to look.

Lately I have been under an unbelievable amount of stress and the obsessive thoughts are just killing me. Right now I am in the "Am I schizophrenic?" state of mind. I have researched everything about it and even though I have no symptoms other than obsessive thoughts I can't seem to convince myself that I am not. I am scared to do anything that I have read schizophrenics do. I don't want to watch the television because some get messages through there. Of course this has never happened but I keep thinking "what if." Every symptom I read about I get obsessed over. I am trying really hard not to look it up on the net anymore but it is SOOOOO hard. I know that I am not delusional because if i was, I wouldn't be such a nervous wreck but still, well I'm sure you all know the 411 on that.

Sorry for the long post. Just had a bad day and needed to vent a little.

[unique1986]

well you know what i was abit like that in the past, where i would read something online and think i have it just to find out i didnt, i think its normal with ocd to worry about health. ocd is totaly diff to mental problems like what your worried about, and my mum says you have to be born with it, so dont worry you havent got it, your just really worried thinking you do cos ocd gives out thoughts like that sometimes.

carla deacon

[nomorepanic]

Hi Chloe and welcome aboard.

Try to remember they are just thoughts. Have a read of these...

Thoughts
Lets try to keep our thoughts in perspective
Mind Games
obsessive thoughts & anxiety
Still suffering this damn "suggestive" thing..
How to CURE yourself ! The definitive guide here..
Its happening again !
Things to consider for success!
[Link removed as post deleted]
Thoughts
image projection in my mind

weird thoughts
odd thoughts...
Strange thoughts....Anyone else?
Silly thoughts
strange things!
worried...
scared and down!

negative thoughts – dealing with
Dealing with negative thoughts
How to stop negative thoughts?


A post to help with negative scary thoughts./ what if’s
A post to help with negative scary thoughts.

Creeping fears
Has anyone else felt this symptom?

Freedom from thoughts
Have you ever achieved freedom from your thoughts

The FEARS: of going crazy, of dying, of impending doom, of normal things, unusual feelings and emotions, Unusually frightening thoughts or feelings…
The sensations:
You suddenly become afraid that you might lose your mind or that you are not able to think. You may also feel that you are not able to remember things as easily as you once did. Sometimes you become afraid of having a nervous breakdown. You also may have periods of 'crazy' thoughts that frighten you, or those thoughts ‘just pop up’ are bothersome by the content.
You fear that what you have is terminal and nobody knows. You may also fear that the chest pains are a deadly heart attack or that the shooting pains in your head are the result of a tumor or aneurysm. You feel that any one of the symptoms you experience are life threatening. You feel an intense fear when you think of dying, or you may think of it more often than normal, or can’t get it out of your mind.
You feel as though something extremely bad is going to happen but you are not sure what. You may also feel as though your world is coming to an end.
You may become afraid of something that you had normally thought was not fearful. It may be a sudden fear of being alone, a fear of inanimate objects moving or talking, or an unsubstantiated fear for your safety to name a few (the fear that you may hurt someone or yourself when using a household knife is common. For example: you fear that you may uncontrollably stab a child, mate or yourself when using a kitchen knife.).
You may feel that now you are frightened or have fearful feelings about almost everything, even things that have no real reason to feel that way do. Even small challenges well up fear in you, and seem difficult or destined to doom or failure.
The reason:
An over stimulated nervous system can alter our feelings, impressions, thoughts and sensations involuntarily (by itself), because it is so interconnected with the brain. In addition, high stress biology produces increased feelings of fear and anxiety as a side effect. When you couple these heightened levels of fear and anxiety with randomly altered moods and thoughts, it becomes clear how these distressing and bizarre thoughts can seem so frightening, confusing and real. Simply stated, when the brain and nervous system are stressed, they can play tricks on your perceptions.
When these symptoms first appear, they often shake the individual’s composure. Further episodes can erode their confidence leading the individual to question their sanity and sta

[chloe1026]

By the way I should mention that I am 35 which makes my fears even more irrational since I am past the age where people get schizophrenia. I tell myself this often but I still worry. Just started 50 mg of zoloft and it seems to be working a bit. I don't really like having to take meds but at this point and time, I don't really think I have an option. I can't get any worse.

But everyday I am trying to think positive thoughts. It's hard. But I am trying. I just want to get past this particular point. Thanks for all the support. It's good to know that I am not alone on this one.

[bri]

Hi chloe.
What uve gone thru at that time must off been horrible, I've got a daughter so i feel 4 you, & it must b a horrible nitemare & shock @ same time. My name is Bri... I;m nearly 31 from the lake district.
I also suffer from obssesive thoughts but mine usallaly consist of a violent way 2words people who r close 2 me. last wk my thoughts were bad that even my head hurt they always calm down. {ie THOUGHTS}
But you went thru a worst experience thats why your thoughts are playing whith your mind, coz they no you hate them {THOUGHTS}
Take care.

[jlkltt]

Hi, I just joined & I've been feeling the exact same way. I will tell you a little about me. I'm 28 female. I've always been a worrier & known I had anxiety, but nothing that I couldn't deal with. Well, this past Nov. my sister & I decided to go to Walmart at midnight to buy our daughters the popular baby Alive dolls. ( I never get out that late) So I pick her up & while I was driving I had a fleeding thought of "what if I all of a sudden hurt my sister" & then felt the rush of anxiety go through my body.( I knew I was starting to have a panic attack). Well, I had never had a thought like that before & in my mind I was freaking out. I didn't tell my sister because I thought she will think I'm crazy. Anyways, I found a therapist a few days later because I was convinced I was crazy for thinking such a thought. My therapist told me I had GAD & depression & the thought I had was an instrusive thought. Well, I took Zoloft 50mg & Ativan for a little over a month. I felt like a zombie. My mind kept racing with these thoughts. Finally, about a month ago I told my therapist my thoughts kept turning into different thoughts. I would have a "what if" I hurt my kids, what if I just forget everybody, etc... She then told me I had OCD & not GAD. She explained to me that these thoughts are a vicious cycle. Well, I came off the Zoloft & Ativan. They prescribed me Celexa which I haven't started taking yet because now that's a fear. So my main fears now are that I'm schizoprenic(?), or have something else even though my therapist has already told me that I don't have that. Why is it so hard to get over these feelings? It seems like I'll quit obcessing about one thought & start obcessing about a new one. I'm sorry my post is so long, I just found this site & thought I'd share my story. Thanks

KM

[chloe1026]

Hey Kitt

I know I am not one who is overly qualified on the pep talk but I do hope that you accept your therapist's diagnosis and don't go into the "spiral." My psychiatrist just diagnosed me and I still doubt him. I am trying really hard to believe him and everyday I am starting to feel a little better. The Zoloft seems to be working for me right now. I do feel a bit out of it but the obsessive thoughts have quieted significantly so I'll take the lesser evil. I have a fear of medications too which my doctor said is very characteristic of people with panic/GAD/OCD. I think all of these things are related by the way. I think that without the anxiety, there would be no panic or OCD. I guess I have to work on the heart of the matter which is the anxiety.

Just know that you are not alone. I have the same exact thoughts as you and I know that with time and work we will both be able to feel better.