Intrusive thoughts

[Nel]

I was diagnosed with OCD ages ago, I first started having obsessive thoughts about wetting myself - I knew it was irrational but couldn't stop thinking of how awful it would be. Eventually, I started having panic attacks and became agoraphobic.
I have had intrusive thoughts where I wonder if I'm capable of harming people I love. I had a very acute episode where I wouldn't get out of bed and was convinced I was a potential murderer. I've gotten a handle on it now, the thoughts still come and go, I still despise them however they no longer provoke the same anxiety in me. The only way to break the cycle is to realise they are OCD (or pure 'O' as some refer to it) and not me. Very difficult thing to do to be fair.
I haven't seen much on here from anyone who has similar obsessive thoughts, am I one of a few or do people just find it difficult to talk about them?

Nel x

[ConfusedByLife]

I dont have Ocd but have a brother who does. It seems to be very common now although it can be very different from person to person. Although i dont have ocd I can relate to your irrational thoughts in a way. I am socially anxious and as such a big part of my problem is constantly having thoughts that ppl r judging me negatively. Although i know it is irrational, i like u cant seem to help it, and if anything it is getting worse. I sometimes worry im almost becoming scitzo cuz i walk round with thoughts in my head that i know are ridiculous and cant understand whyI have them. Just know u aren't alone at all. Big hugs

Simon

[Nel]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I dont have Ocd but have a brother who does. It seems to be very common now although it can be very different from person to person. Although i dont have ocd I can relate to your irrational thoughts in a way. I am socially anxious and as such a big part of my problem is constantly having thoughts that ppl r judging me negatively. Although i know it is irrational, i like u cant seem to help it, and if anything it is getting worse. I sometimes worry im almost becoming scitzo cuz i walk round with thoughts in my head that i know are ridiculous and cant understand whyI have them. Just know u aren't alone at all. Big hugs

Simon

<div align="right">Originally posted by ConfusedByLife - 02 December 2006 : 13:39:10</div id="right">
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Ah cheers Simon, big hugs to you to mate!
You are most certainly not schizo, I imagine everyone on here who has an anxiety disorder of any sort has googled schizophrenia and psychosis at some point, we ALL do it! I spent 2 nights recently, in the local hospital, I had started taking meds for OCD and anxiety and it sent my thoughts into overdrive. After 4 weeks on the med, I was so far gone that I had made a deal with myself - and I was serious, if I thought I was about to harm someone I would kill myself first.
I went to hospital, they stopped the meds immediately and 2 days later the withdrawal kicked in and that is when I agreed to spend a couple of nights there. Well, when the effects of the meds started to wear off and I got 'myself' back, I couldn't believe how 'normal' I was. I met manic depressives, schizophrenics and all manner of bizarre behaviours. I actually had to disappear into my room a couple of times to have a laugh (sorry if that sounds nasty, but some of the stuff they said was damn funny). I couldn't wait to get out the place, it was awful and good for me at the same time - it made me realise how much insight I had and how capable I was of dealing with it, made me sad too - to see people who really were mentally ill with no clue whatsoever - they thought everyone else was mad!

Nel xx

[yorkylover]

Quite a few people here have had intrusive thoughts,that is down to anxiety.Its really scarey.I cant quite see the funny side of people with mental illness'e saying damn funny things.I maybe a bit of a wet blanket,but some of us have mental illness's and have family members who are mentally ill and are in hospital.Its must be nice to feel normal again.

Ellen XX

[Nel]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Quite a few people here have had intrusive thoughts,that is down to anxiety.Its really scarey.I cant quite see the funny side of people with mental illness'e saying damn funny things.I maybe a bit of a wet blanket,but some of us have mental illness's and have family members who are mentally ill and are in hospital.Its must be nice to feel normal again.

Ellen XX

<div align="right">Originally posted by ELLEN - 02 December 2006 : 17:45:12</div id="right">
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I'm sorry I offended you by saying that. I was borderline detainable, was utterly suicidal, so to be fair I wasn't in there having a great laugh - I spent most of my time there crying like a baby, away from my family who were and still are worried sick about me.
I was demonstrating the reality check, I found it amusing when a woman accused me of pawning her walking stick. I actually became very fond of this woman over the 2 days so don't think I was laughing AT her.
There is no aspect of my disorder which is 'nice', which is why I never used that word - my life is in fact, largely, a living hell.

[honeybee3939]

Hi Nel

Heres some posts that may help:

odd thoughts...
Strange thoughts....Anyone else?
Silly thoughts
strange things!
worried...
scared and down!

Have you ever achieved freedom from your thoughts
Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour in Thoughts

Love

Andrea
xxx


"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[Nel]

Cheers Andrea. I had a wee look at the posts, the thing is my anxiety is as a result of obsessive thoughts - they aren't necessarily delusional thoughts, I don't feel 'detatched' and question morality or whatever, they are usually very specific and the harm thoughts are the most distressing.

[yorkylover]

I understand your life maybe a living hell.So is mine,I have to live with mental health issues.As do alot of other people.Maybe I just misunderstood your post,which I apologise for.

Ellen XX

[Nel]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I understand your life maybe a living hell.So is mine,I have to live with mental health issues.As do alot of other people.Maybe I just misunderstood your post,which I apologise for.

Ellen XX

<div align="right">Originally posted by ELLEN - 02 December 2006 : 23:16:32</div id="right">
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You have no need at all to apologise, we all have to find whatever catalyst we can to pull through, eh? I accept I have a severe mental health disorder, I just cling to the fact that I have insight - it is one of the few things which keeps me going. I have the utmost repsect for all the other members too, I didn't mean to sound selfish or disrespectful - I just wanted to post this topic, mainly for responses from anyone who is tortured by the harm thought element of OCD.

Nel xxx

[Alexocelix]

Hi there, recently I have developed these kind of thoughts. It's very upsetting and I too wonder whether I am developing a more serious problem. I was glad to find it had a name, in pure O. I always had ocd as a kid. But when I get them, I feel hugely guilty, despite deep down knowng that it's the exact opposite thought of what I really feel.
For some reason now, I'm so scared of judging people or harming people, that I'm always monitoring my reaction when I see a person, be it on tv or whatever, it seems to have made me very sensitive to being around people, if you get me.