Hi all
Looking to see if anyone has encountered anything similar as even with the help of Dr Google () I'm rather confused.

My little story:

I'm nearly 35 now but back when I was 17/18 I remember having some sort of panic attack after drinking. I had come back home and was constantly aware of my heart pounding away, a bit like if I'd just been exercising. I'd ended up ringing 111, had paramedics come out, I ended up at hospital, the ambulance crew gave me a quick ECG which came out fine. I had a proper ECG at hospital that came out fine, I went to a cardiologist and he had me wear a holter monitor for 2 days, was told I had an innocent murmur but apart from that all peachy - heres some propanalol if you want it.

Well since that day I've been fully aware of my heart beat 24/7 - 17 long years. I'm usually able to avoid it but its impossible when it comes to bed time or if I'm sat somewhere quiet. It's never really done anything to make me question it, it seems quite stable and consistent, doesn't really give me any grief but its annoying to say the least.

Anyway - about 3 months ago, I don't know what happened, maybe something triggered..something at work, I don't know but my pulse/heartbeat got more noticeable it was more of a consistent thump (my hearts always about 45-55bpm) but it got to the point where it rocks my body, I'm sat in a chair, it rocks the chair. I lift my hands up my hands are moving to the beat. If I try and focus on something with my eyes my head rocks and I lose focus momentarily, lay in bed and the whole damn mattress has a little wobble, etc. I spend the next 10? weeks or so convincing myself my heart valve has packed in because when you consult google - bounding pulse = aortic regurgitation. The only thing that kept me vaguely sane was because I didn't really have any shortness of breath or swelling or other heart failure type symptoms but deary me I got myself into a state - lost about 5kg, barely ate..spent all day shaking my legs or rocking or something to distract me. (all the time though - my heart never speeds up, always about 50)

So last tuesday I have a full on breakdown at work but I don't think anyone noticed and I got into my car in time. I ring the private hospital and get an appointment with a cardiologist on the thursday night (I see little point dealing with my GP - he would just refer me to a cardiologist in about 4 months time). By this point I've almost accepted my fate my valves knackered and I'll need open heart surgery. I go on thursday night and I'm sat there shaking like a leaf, my hearts doing over 100 and he gives me a fairly thorough going over, checking my front/back/neck/arms. Picks up the innocent murmur but says everything else sounds fine - nothing that stands out although my heart is very loud and he doesnt know if I maybe have a small chest cavity. End result is he's referred me back through the NHS for a heart MRI to have a look (but apparently theres really no rush) - gives me some bisoprolol and sends me on my way.

4 days on and I'm onto my 4th 2.5mg dose. I would say my bounding pulse/thumping/shaking has gone from a 7 to maybe a 4-5 (Depending on the time of day) and now my heart rate is low 40's. I think I have some side effects from the beta blockers/low heart rate but nothing too much (a bit colder/was a bit jittery a few days ago but thats better now) I'm sat here thinking if my hearts coping in the low 40's it must be pretty healthy? so what the hell is wrong - can this thumping still be anxiety related, have I got myself into such a state over the last 2-3 months is it going to take time to settle? Anyone else experienced anything like this? (I don't really expect any solid answers here but when you spend weeks reading anxiety forums and heart failure forums and you don't seem to fit in either - its a bit daunting!)

The other thing I've got is a really irritating sore neck down the right side which comes and goes and stays under my jaw a lot but I'm not sold on that being related. (this has got oddly worse since I've been stressing about my heart though, muscle related?)

Thanks for reading if anyone made it!