You're trying to stop something that is normal. You're attaching fear to something that is normal. You have (by your own admission) turned it into a problem over the years, and become hyper focused on it.
Your story is textbook. We've seen it here time and time again. Be reassured in the fact that you're boringly normal as an anxiety addict (notice, I did not say sufferer).
What if I also told you that anxiety is just a disorder of habit. Change the habit of attention, and most of your problems disappear really quickly.