Have I got rectal cancer?

[Scass]

I understand, when I actually get on with things it does help but it's finding the motivation and in my case confidence to do it that's the hard part

I know. Start little, you’re feeling a bit better today so try and get out of the house, or just do something. Believe me that you’re the only one that cares about what you look like (apart from your Mum maybe ).


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[Toby2000]

I know. Start little, you’re feeling a bit better today so try and get out of the house, or just do something. Believe me that you’re the only one that cares about what you look like (apart from your Mum maybe ).


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I have these horrible jeans that I have to wear that look like they're 10 years out of fashion because my nice pair ripped so I feel like everyone is looking at them when I go out. But I know I'm not that important and no one is bothered, you just can't help it when you feel like a clown stepping out the house, I mean I hate my appearance as it is without the jeans

[pulisa]

I literally can't. I'm in such a state right now my days are literally the same routine because I just feel like everything is on hold because I'm "ill". I wish I could go out on a nice sunny walk without worrying about cancer, carefree, like I used to be, but I have to think about the fact that I saw blood again and that just makes me want to retreat and hide away and panic in my comfort zone rather than in a nice situation, which will just ruin my memories of the nice place ie. the countryside. If that makes sense

It's why I can barely listen to music I love because I don't want to start associating it with this mess

It feels like I'm in a hospice and I'm being asked to enjoy myself, it feels a little depressing because I'm like what's the point? I don't want to enjoy something only to know soon I won't be able to experience this anymore because I'll be dead

I want to so badly enjoy things again but I don't want to start enjoying things and start living if it means all of that is suddenly gonna be taken away from me with a cancer diagnosis. I'm so terrified

There may be people reading your words who are facing or who have faced up to a cancer diagnosis who would be deeply affected by how you see cancer as an automatic death sentence. Most people just carry on because they have no choice and they have commitments/bills to pay. You are young and have none of the responsibilities of adulthood so you can just let your imagination run wild and be as dramatic and lurid as you like in your interpretation of your condition regardless of the medical advice you have had from professionals.
I know I wouldn't be wasting my time posting on an anxiety forum if I had serious health concerns though.

[Elen]

Get off your backside and off the computer.

Take that dog for a walk.

[Toby2000]

Get off your backside and off the computer.

Take that dog for a walk.

I would love to but I just keep thinking about that long string of dark bloody mucus

[Toby2000]

There may be people reading your words who are facing or who have faced up to a cancer diagnosis who would be deeply affected by how you see cancer as an automatic death sentence. Most people just carry on because they have no choice and they have commitments/bills to pay. You are young and have none of the responsibilities of adulthood so you can just let your imagination run wild and be as dramatic and lurid as you like in your interpretation of your condition regardless of the medical advice you have had from professionals.
I know I wouldn't be wasting my time posting on an anxiety forum if I had serious health concerns though.

True, I didn't think about that. I'm sorry if I offended anyone potentially, I know it's usually treatable I'm just the most pessimistic person ever

I don't know if the professionals would still say hemorrhoids if I told them about the dark bloody mucus. I'll see what the GP thinks on Friday

[Toby2000]

I don't know how to stop googling... I have basically nothing to reassure me anymore like I did after the appointment so every time I google or look something to do with colon cancer up my last remaining ounce of happiness in that moment will disappear

I know it sounds stupid but my mind FORCES me to google, like I need to satisfy the horrible urge.

How can I stop myself from doing it, it's the stuff of nightmares

[BlueIris]

By finding something else to do.

[MrsEd]

I honestly cant stop gagging at that thought Toby, you need to go to the GP about your health anxiety.

My mym DOES have cancer Toby, she has had it for 3 years. Various treatments ect. Sure, she has days when she feels shitty, but the rest of the time she is enjoying her life as normal.

[Toby2000]

I honestly cant stop gagging at that thought Toby, you need to go to the GP about your health anxiety.

My mym DOES have cancer Toby, she has had it for 3 years. Various treatments ect. Sure, she has days when she feels shitty, but the rest of the time she is enjoying her life as normal.

What thought?

And that attitude is amazing. It's just because I'm so young... I haven't lived yet and this particular cancer in the later stages is very aggressive and I feel like that's what stage mine is at if I do have it.