Re: Foamy Urine and a revisit from my old friend health anxiety
Originally Posted by
lofwyr
What this is really showing me, is that we are never "cured" 100% from HA. It is very much like an addiction or substance abuse problem. You can justify a lot of reasons to google something if you try hard enough, and it comes roaring back.
Every human being has anxiety. It's abnormal not to experience anxiety. The reason (I think) HA comes back is because the core issue (death, dying - leaving kids etc) hasn't been addressed. I had HA as a child and that was fear of death itself. Then I had a paranormal experience which changed that - so no more fear of death. Then I became a parent and this time it was the fear of dying and leaving my children motherless and this was my HA for 28 years until my breakdown in 2016. This time, the trigger was my mother dying suddenly. I worked hard with therapists to unravel what was in my mind and I got there, because I've had two major health issues in the last 12 months - one where I was fast-tracked and one which started last September and is on-going. I am anxious and it would be abnormal for me not to be, but there is no crippling fear like before. More than anything, I just want an answer for why I'm in pain so that I can get the right treatment. I've been wondering when the wheels are going to come off, but it's not happened yet. I think this is because I've addressed my HA at core level and then practiced the acceptance that I'm not always going to be here for my son, but that he will be OK without me because other people will step up. Also, I'm teaching him life skills to be able to live on his own - while I'm still here.
I should add that I also have OCD - catastrophic thinking has been my life, but I still found a way to control HA.
I don't like to use the term 100% cured with HA. I see my 'recovery' as work in progress because I have to maintain the good practices and 'thinking' that got me out of the shit I was in.
I also think that I needed to hit the bottom so that I could push myself back up off the floor, so, while I wouldn't recommend having a mental breakdown - it turned out to be a positive for me.
Google, when you have HA, is what Kryptonite to Superman. The key to controlling HA and understanding anxiety and the stress response can also be found in Google, but the HA mind will only ever see what it's looking for - which is terminal disease. This obliterates all else. So it is best to stay away from Google - completely - until your mind is strong enough to be able to rationalise. Do what you have to do - even if that means removing laptops, and changing smart phones to normal ones without access to the internet.
The test is when a health issue arises and you don't fall down that rabbit hole, and, like Elton John - I'm still standing.
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A thought is harmless unless we believe it.